Congratulations John McCain. You have garnered recent endorsements by the Des Moines Register, Boston Globe, and Joseph Lieberman to win your party's nomination for president. You must be so proud. People who have no intention of voting for you anxiously await your arrival on the other side of the docket from the choice of the Democrats. Just think, you'll get to hob-nob with the elite snobs. Pencil-necked geeks in politically correct outfits will smile at you. The world is your oyster so long as you play the part of asphault to their nominee's steamroller. 

    If this was baseball, John, they just walked the guy in front of you in order to get the chance to strike you out. They know what a liberal-in-Republican clothing you have been. They know how you have hog-tied things between that wonderful anti-first-amendment bill you co-sponsored with Mr. Feingold and your on-again, off-again disdain for President Bush, his policies, and the people who voted for him. They know about how luke-warm you have been toward the "Christian right" and how much more you seem to enjoy the company of liberals than your own base.

     They want you, Mr. McCain. They want you because they are sure they can beat you. I'm not so sure they are wrong. If you are the party's nominee, I will support you. But I will do so knowing that we are headed that much closer to the socialist-state any of the 3 front-running Dems want to take us to... a state I am sure you will be more than happy with.

     Still sporting the sort of voice that is perfect for being the reader in one of those audio Bible packages, waxing eloquent about his cliche'd inanities, Barrack Obama finds himself toward the head of the Democratic pack as the political mudslinging slogs through the Christmas season. After all, nothing screams "Happy Holidays" like two socialist candidates debating about which of them can fill the people's stockings with more government loot. Barry has found the strategy of using big words to say nothing with presidential seriousness to be a winner thus far. And, next to the lady who has been saying a whole lot of nothing for the nearly 20 years she has filled our screens and airwaves with her screech, Hillary Rodham, his utter lack of exposure nationally has been a real benefit. But this was not his title to win. The tiera was never meant to rest on his head. This was Hillary's moment. It has been Hillary's pre-ordained moment from the time she first found herself snout-to-snout with that most-famous Razorback, Bill. So here comes the mud. Duck, because the slime is a-flyin'. And, from the woman who has a long history of seeing campaign funds on a Chinese menu, here comes the slush. The would be queen of the world is sensing her throne slipping away. And it's time to do what the Clintons do best, drag others down to the trough with them. Psss... "Obama's been achin' for the Oval since kiddy-garden!" Hey you! "Barrack HUSSEIN Obama experimented with drugs when he was young... what's to say he isn't doing it now?" Ahem... "As an expert in the subject, I can tell a "slush fund when I see one... and Barry's definitely got one." Maybe these are the last couple of months of having the Clintons in everyone's hair. One can only hope. But if they are, there can be no doubt that the Hillimonster will not go down without plenty of mud and slime and slush to go around. This isn't going to be pretty folks, regardless of the color of the pantsuit.

Our favorite British teacher, Gillian Gibbons, is safe at home now after the ordeal she just endured in the whole "teddy bear" fiasco in the Sudan. What's already been stated is that the over-reaction of the rent-a-mobs that took to the streets in Sudan and other places in the Muslim world was just that, an over-reaction. It was also absurd, stupid, ignorant, and non-sensical. And the fact that the more reasonable segments of the Muslim community did not make their feelings known in condemning these riots is even more ridiculous.

No doubt, "enough is enough" is the phrase of the day when it comes to these silly riots and bloodthirsty mobs. So I was thinking the other night as I was preparing to go to bed that if I were a nation's leader and the Muslim world was not going to stamp out these retarded machete-wavers, I would give their leadership a strong incentive to do so. It might likely come with a picture of the cross-hairs of one of my missle-bearing vessels overlaying the nation's palace. The implication would be, "let the teacher go or you die." That's easy to understand isn't it? If reasonable people are not going to step up, maybe it's time to stop with negotiating with madmen. And maybe if it wasn't a big missle on the way, perhaps it could be one of my special forces units, or a small contengent of secret agents. In British terms, that might have meant James Bond, .007, or whoever fills that role in real life. Imagine him slipping into the palace, coming up behind the president as he ate his lobster, and placing the barrel of a pistol next to his temple. The message would be the same. "Let the teacher go or you die." 

     Then, in my next thought, I wondered, "how do I know that's not how it happened?" We may never know, but it's exactly how these folks need to be dealt with. They laugh at diplomacy. They tremble at .007.

I wanted to state right off the bat that I hate everybody. So I hope the reader doesn't take offense. It's nothing personal. It's just the way things are when you are a conservative. We hate everybody. We hate all races. We hate all religions. We hate all cultures and languages. We hate both genders and everybody of any and all sexual preferences. So, being a conservative, it makes perfect sense that I hate everyone. Please understand.

I also need to make sure the reader knows I am basically ignorant. I can't spell my way out of a paper bag and I can't comprehend anything that isn't a football score. The reason I see the world as I do is because I am a simpleton, a moron, and a big, fat dummy. I didn't go to the right school. In fact, it's questionable if I actually attended any school in the first place. I'm sitting in my easy chair now, waiting for the little woman to bring me a peanut butter sandwich because I haven't mastered the jar lid just yet.

Just one more thing here. I am astoundingly rude and insensitive. This could probably be explained by the fact that I'm dumb as a stump and hate everyone who isn't a knuckle-dragger just like me. But I have an opinion and I sometimes share it. I don't treat the front page of my newspaper like the Holy Bible. I don't even treat the editorial pages that way. I don't care what the foofs on television have to say or the folks who play pretend for a living in Hollywood. I laugh out loud when they tell me how to vote, think, act and speak. I cry when a baby's life is snuffed out for someone's convenience. I get angry when someone squirms to explain how we need to get out of Iraq right now while they "support the troops." I pray to Jesus, listen to Rush Limbaugh AND Glenn Beck, and think CNN really does stand for "Communist News Network." I began cleaning my oven MORE when I heard we were creating the hole in the ozone layer and once that began to shrink I started going polar bear hunting in my gas-guzzling SUV in my efforts to support global warming. I think it's time Muslims began putting a stop to all those machete-welding "peaceful" people who turn into a bloodthirsty mob every time someone draws a cartoon or names a teddy bear they don't like. I don't think old ladies are carrying bombs in their purses when they board airplanes on the way to see the grandkids. I DO think terrorists could very easily slip across our border with Mexico and release a dirty bomb in an American city because Bush AND Congress AND everyone else in authority doesn't seem to give a rip. I think that when Hillary Clinton moves her lips, she's either chewing her food or lying. I think Obama's an air head who memorized a dictionary and Edwards is a clown with a hospital-chaser's grin. Mormonism IS a cult, but Mormons are decent people. We can drill for oil without killing fuzzy little bunny rabbits and WHILE we develop alternative energy sources.

I think I have a brain in my skull and I was under the impression I have a license to use it. But every time I talk to a liberal or hear one speak, I get no reasoned response. All I get is cliche's and put-downs. My prayer is that lots and lots of ignorant people-haters like me will have had their fill of it all just like me when it comes time to vote next November. What about you?